That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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