If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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