I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize