Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
if i died would you start the facebook group?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
