Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize