Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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