I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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