We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
