He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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