I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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