I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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