White coat. Heels.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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