Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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