ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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