That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
