feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
