There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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