and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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