Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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