I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
