just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
