Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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