so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
