my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
