Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
