i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize