Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
