he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
