we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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