some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
