True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize