Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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