VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
