I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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