At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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