Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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