well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
