i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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