I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
