i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Every concussion has its silver lining
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
