There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
