You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I am one with the molecules
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
