Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
