you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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