I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Help. Why am I so naked?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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