How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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