You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize