His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
