dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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