i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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