Say something about gay babies.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
