No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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