ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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