I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
