Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Such a big mess for such a small penis
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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