We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
