Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
