I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
