You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
