i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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