dude i'm inner monologue high
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize