what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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