Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
