theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
