I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
